You have been BFFs since you were in diapers. She knows everything about you: Your secret crush, the time you laughed so hard milk shot out your nose, the fact that you cannot sleep without your stuffed green monster with the googly eyes. She is the first person you want to call when something good happens and the first one you want to call one something bad. But you just found out that her family will be moving after the holidays. Your mad but even more then that you are SAD!
IT’S OKAY TO FEEL SAD
One of the biggest fears when somebody moves away is, that you think your friendship cannot take the distance. Maybe that is what you are feeling. But true friendships can withstand anything… even miles or an ocean between them. So grab a box of tissues and your BFF and let it out! Go ahead and cry but don’t waste your time with being mad. Saying things like, “Don’t Go.” or “PLEASE STAY!” When you know that they have to go is only going to make you both more miserable. Instead tell your pal that you love them and will miss them and then together figure out some fun ways to create even more memories together before they move and AFTER TOO!
PROJECT “MOVE-DAY”
Two years ago both our family and Grace’s BFF’s family were moving at the same time, but to two different states. Both girls were very sad and even a bit nervous about moving to a new place where they would attend a new school and have to get use to new things. So the other mother and I came up with an idea that we have each of our girls do a project about where the other girl was moving. Grace learned all about Arizona and all the cool things that her BFF Bella could do there. Bella did the same thing for Grace about DC. The end result was two very excited girls with very long list of places they would like to go to when they visited their friend one day.
A SPECIAL GIFT
Before Bella and Grace moved we made sure they had plenty of time to hang out together. And while they were just goofing around Bella’s Mom and I were busy snapping lots of pictures. We used these pictures to put together special scrapbook pages which were framed and given to each other as special Goodbye gifts at a party we had for all their friends. Grace still has hers hanging on her wall. It is a great way to feel connected to her BFF even when she is thousands of miles away.
A JAR OF MEMORIES
This idea was just told to us by Grace’s guidance counselor ad we LOVED IT!!! She told us a story about how when she moved away from her BFF her friend gave her a very special jar. Inside the jar were slips of paper which she had jotted down special memories they had shared together or special things about her that her friend loved. She also included a note on the jar that something like, “Whenever you are missing me or feeling a bit blue, take out a slip of paper and know I am always with YOU!”
BACK AND FORTH JOURNAL
Once your pal moves it can be hard to stay as close as you used to be. Thankfully there are things like SKYPE and FACETIME and email and texting and oh yeah the PHONE to stay in touch. But there will also be homework and time differences and well, you just may not get to talk as much as you used to. And when you do get to chat you will have so much to catch up on, that you may forget some important DETS. Why not create a back and forth JOURNAL. The journal stays with one person for a week or two and every night you can write in it everything you would have said if you were talking to your BFF. Then in a couple of weeks send it to your friend in the mail who will get to catch up and then have her turn with it! Then she will send it back to you and well… you see where how it goes. It is a great way to stay connected! And besides getting mail is fun!
A GOLDEN FRIENDSHIP
The bottom line is yes your friend is moving. Things are NOT going to be the same. That doesn’t mean they are going to bad either they will just be different. You will begin to reach out to a few of your other friends for support and you will probably grow closer to them. It will be interesting and fun for both of you because she will be doing the same thing and you’ll have so much to talk about as you take your separate journeys.But just like the old Girl Scout song I use to sing goes: “Make new friends but keep the old, some are silver and the others gold!” True friendships are GOLD and gold doesn’t rust just because there is some dust or distance on it!
